That One About Crush (#1 post)

(#NulisRandom2015 day 1)

Basically, I came back (again) after several months of hiatus from blogging world. I found out that blogging could really turned someone’s else upside down and in my case, it is probably because I could express what I couldn’t express IRL. I know it’s hard, but writing has always been my deepest passion – something that I need to reached down to make sure I won’t stop doing it.

Enough with the blabbering. This is my first post so at least I should make it good, rite?

Well, let’s talk about crush, shall we? I believe deep in everyone’s fragile heart, they’re always been a place for that certain someone. Yes, your freaking crush. Talking about that special person, my question is: why the hell do they have to exist? I’m not personally saying that I don’t like crushing on someone, but at some point, it is quite disturbing. And distracting. And confusing. Especially confusing.

I’m confused, because my feelings were kinda mixed up at this moment. I don’t know whom I’m sincerely like, or adore, or in love with, I’m just bluntly keeping my feeling without even knowing what are those. I even once confessed my attraction to my crush, and she gladly accept my bravery of confessing to her (although she can’t apparently date me because she’s already seeing someone else) but then I just feel empty. Nothing like really happened.

And it was capital sucks! Not the rejection part tho…

I’m not trying to sound very desperate (I really am not, trust me), but talking about my crush(es) at this point was seemingly pointless. I can feel nothing about crushing anymore. I had enough, probably, but the urge is still there. Yes, I do have a long-time crush ever since I got into college, we barely even say ‘hello’, let alone talking. But I feel happy tho, honest. Just being able to see that person everyday is enough to brighten my lonely, cold days.

In the meantime, I’m just gonna stick around of crushing this person. Keeping it as a secret is definitely the fun part *insert evil laugh here*.

p.s: Apparently my friend started posting about this #NulisRandom2015 and I feel intrigued to start my blogging activity, beginning this first day of June. You might be prepared to encounter a blunt writing of mine, which mostly talked about me (and me only), so if it gets personal, that is not my problem.

I’ll be back to my gaming once I’m done writing. Tomorrow’s a holiday so make sure have a fun one, tho I’m probably spend the whole day playing video games and messing around with my cat, Miki (whom I planned to be featured on my future posts). Hope you have a pleasant holiday and stay in touch with my post, will ya?


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