There’s a perk of being an overly-sensitive person like me.
As much as I try so hard to care less about something, my feelings always carried me away. It seems like there’s no way I could escape my truest emotions. I tried to hide it, but somehow it always came out of nowhere, only later torturing me mentally.
I don’t want to show it, no matter what.
I hate the judgement.
I hate the talks.
I hate the looks that people would gave me.
It’s not something bad, I can ensure you and myself. It’s just that, I don’t want to be such a fragile-looking person in front of others.
I’m stronger than I am, I know.
It’s just that, there’s so many things that left unspoken inside. And I have no idea of how to let it all out. Maybe because I’m just too damn scared?
Probably.
I’ve been using both logic and feelings whenever I’m taking an action. This time, I was overwhelmed by my own feelings. This is not the first time tho, and certainly won’t be the last. I was to man up by my bud. Yea, I would and I could.
However, this time, maybe I lost.
I lost in the battle of my own feelings.
And you think guys shouldn’t feel something. Well yeah, you’re wrong. Guys can be as sensitive as they can be. At least I’m the living proof of it. Honestly, I’m tired of it. I’m sick of it.
What can I do to make this mixed feelings disappear? What if all the answers lied on someone out there, someone that I could never reach, someone that I could never touch? And what if all this time, the answer lies next to me, but I was unable to accept it?
In the end, it’ll go round and round like a carousel.
An endless carousel in the dark town fair, kept by a shadowy figure in a raven robe.
One Life 